“Coexistence, Dinner and Dialogue”

As valuable as e-communication and social mediaare, when it comes to understanding and appreciation of other views, there is no substitute for the good old-fashioned, face-to-face sit-down.

All the more so when the subject is religion and spirituality.

Happily, around Rochester anyway, college students are among the first to grasp the importance of dialogue. Husain Bawany, 21, a junior biology and religious studies major at St. John Fisher College, organized a recent, highly successful event he dubbed “Coexistence, Dinner and Dialogue” for about 65 students and a few others from Rochester-area colleges. They met Dec. 10 at Fisher, where they shared a meal, shared some of their religious beliefs and experiences, and began to explore ways they can be a part of each other’s lives. They were Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist and others.

Bawany, a Muslim and a native of Pakistan, has lived in Brighton since he was a young child. He pulled this event together as part of his work as a fellow with the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence at the University of Rochester.

“There’s a lot of support from the colleges,” he says, “for us to come together and expose ourselves to others’ religious beliefs, eye to eye, with a civil discourse.” In all traditions, Bawany says, “service is a universal.” Pulling together to do something for others, he says, is a powerful way to build a relationship. One of the first things they’ll do, Bawany says, is write cards with greetings of hope to be distributed to refugee children at Mary’s Place, a refugee services center in Rochester.

“I grew up Baptist,” says Eric Williams, 20, a junior accounting major at Fisher with a religious studies minor.

His faith is important to him, Williams says, but he’s very interested in other religious views.

Faith “isn’t about following rules,” he says, “but finding a relationship with God.” He believes there are things he can learn from students from other faith traditions.

Naomi Ahsan, 22, a UR neuroscience major from Brighton and a Muslim, says an Interfaith Leadership Institute that she and Bawany attended last year at Georgetown University in Washington taught them there are protocols (speaking only for yourself, for example, not for all members of your faith) that make the conversation easier. The Coexistence gathering, she says, “is one of many efforts to foster a real dialogue. There is a belief that people do have similarities if you dig deep enough.”

There are many misconceptions and simple questions people have concerning other faiths, Bawany says. And this event gave students a chance to ask, and test. It also was an opportunity for students who have no religious faith or who are skeptical to sharetheir views.

I give these students a lot of credit for being smart enough to know that the conversation is essential not to bridging all religious differences, but to seeing the humanity in others — and discovering that humanity puts us on the road to nonviolent approaches to solving problems. It’s a tough thing — to share deep principles of faith that we accept as true, all the while learning to accept and even search for the truth in others’ views.

“We welcome people coming together,” says Kit Miller, who directs the Gandhi Institute, “because in an odd way, we are so conflict-averse these days that we actually add to the potential for violence by ignoring its causes.”

But to make the most of dialogue, she says, “you have to be willing to be changed.”

Mark Hare’s column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. He can be reached at (585) 258-2351.